waiting to smile

I smile when i see you smiling,
I giggle when i hear birds chirping,
I love to watch oldies smiling,
I live when I feel joy inside.

I yearn for the day to start with a smile,

And I wish to end with a smile too,

I love to see paths smiling,

Life is bliss with smiles everywhere.

But alas, what do I see,

I see someone howling,

Oh My heart, I see another one crying,

God, I never wished it.

The life is too scary when I came close,

Oh god, please take it away,

My heart pounds to see grief around,

I ask for mercy from you oh the paintaker!

With so much of pain around,

How can I smile in your kingdom?

Ease the pain, I know you can feel it,

Heal the wounds, I know you can see it.

Oh my lord, i sit back on the path,

Waiting for your miracle,

Don’t make me rot, make me blossom,

As i wish to see smiles everywhere i go.

a silent hope

I was tired walking alone,

…and feeling pale to see the road so long.

I always used to ask the God, will I be able to pass it successfully,

…and only one answer comes from my inner soul, it is a part of destiny.

With shaky hopes and weak courage, I still walked wondering,

…does my destiny read no companion's caring?

Finding no one aside me, I smiled on my foolishness,

…saying, "even with lost hopes, why there is wish for someone to kill loneliness".

Crying in cover, my tears used to say, "Am I that bad?"

…and a silent wind around me still gave me hope to aspire and stand.

Kaleidoscope

Lay straight.......
closer, but not tight....
Hiding?????
No.....
Just hidden.
Occupied by the self....
Sold on the inside, somewhere else.

Tick-Tick, Tock-Tock,
no no... Its not those clocks...
Haha, they march so fine...
In this terrain, the pictures are not in line....

Kaleidoscope, did you say??
A turn of hand, a turn of fate....
The colours move in no time.....
If you keep looking,
you will soon go blind.

Ha, insane it sounds,
but even the glass's been replaced,
Now even more colours...
seem to be on their way....

So lay straight now, it is time...
No left, and no right...
pull pull, not with force.....
No need ... of all your might.

Uffff.... the glass is clear,
muddy waters & rainbows, side by side....
HaHa, closed your eyes na!!
The colours wont hurt now, they will seem just fine.



Well, I was sleeping during the day..... and feeling uncomfortable... dimaag mein kuch kuch chal raha tha.... so that is what it is about..... The Klaideoscopic is something like our mind and heart... illogical, feelings based.... no pattern as such.... and the glass is similar to our point of view.... more than that infact... its like experience + view point + mood.... so when I say lay straight, I mean that it is time for me to rest and shut off because I have seen and understood and my thought cant help me further... and the last para is about accepting the complete truth even though it may not suit me... ya, just about it.

The End

well the poem is about how ppl run away from things when they cant face the truth... especially in relations.... and tell themselves things, protect themselves to make themselves feel better.... sort of self denial... Not based on one particular incident, infact a part of a sort of my personal grouse against the whole world.... and my attitude of understanding their problems and acting accordingly.... which a lot of times is a no-goer really.... its like saying that ppl a lot of times have to be dealt the way they treat us, even though u can look beyong their anger, stupidity, behaviour etc... and the last para talks about them acting as a know all.... to make them more comfortable ofcourse.... thats it.


The End, they say....

What is '' The END'' ???

The beginning... to another.....

''The END''. Ha.

I play my part....

'The world's a stage', they say...

Who fell the curtains ???

I don't know...

It wasn't me.....

I prefer the open ending,

Meandering, the slow death...

Brought, by time.....

& change....

Natural....

Unconditional...

Like the rower in d troubled seas,

the swimmer lost somewhere in the storm....

the actor keeps on....

Unwavering, Unflinching...

Wavering & Flinching inside.

Not holding tight.

Shapeless....

The actor, playing all his parts...

all the time...

Will he rest one day ????

It's hard to say....

The End, did you say??

It makes you feel so light...

Didn't you know O' baby...

It is all, in your mind.

THE END, huh, then so be it !

The end to crossing the line.

Set it, and I will follow.

I bet you will cross it soon,

The day you feel hollow..

So let me welcome to 'your' world,

The landscape, clear and white...

The colours, bright and shiny...

The form too... cheery on the outside.

I wish you luck, all of it...

You need it baby, allright...

coz you have dared to know

& dared to END...

What even time didn't know...otherwise.

Pilgrimage

It wont change, will it....
I must come to accept......
I must change my way,
the scene will remain the same.....
They are yours, arent the,
all those frills......
So let me follow you,
let me follow you today....
The path is grimy, dirt and dark
splashing mud, here and there...
Couldnt you, couldnt you walk easily....
your footmarks I can see, all (Lllll....) along the way.
Who will wipe them, I wonder...
Dirty work, isnt it....
Well I will do my bit, I will clear them
wherever, whenever we crossed our ways...
Uffff... wat a task its been..
the footsteps proved to be building blocks...
to some monument, cast in stone...
Oh my god! How can I tear them down....
So I call '' Hercules, O' My lord !!
Just this once hear me out....
Cleanse the road, the old cravings...
A new one I want to lay out. ''

Lull now...
The storm, was it??
No.......
It was just the blowing wind..
It took thee away, took ye al.....
to the breeding grounds.... of suffering.
Wat a trip though
Ohh what an expedition....
It had all,
all the elements of a great mission...
the pain, the suffering, the hard work.....
and the cleansing of mind, body and soul....
But ohh dear, Oh dear dear!!
I went in search, of what has forever remained....
but all I saw was the changing heads...
n changing faces, night and day...
Here and there, I did go..
Yet God I didnt find, in this maze.......
Uhhh, I found the Devil out though...
on this, on this.... Pilgrimage.


The poem is about letting something grow from something wrong, like say basing something that must erode with time, basing anything including relationships on ego or say stubborness or pride or rigidity of some kind. The struggle begins when you realize this and walls of the old structure ( cud be person/relationship) stop you from going out of that structure, even though you must as it is the right thing to do.... and your feeling after all the work,and the realization that what you thought was pure and godly as something very human and imperfect define the last two para's... thats about it. and I have compared the whole work of clearing up the old mess as a pilgrimage.....and the splashing mud is taking bullshit from them...